There are four trends in networking that I have seen these recently:
1. Too much online focus. There has been much attention given to social media the last few years. The internet has certainly changed the way we interact, but some people are creating a lattice of weak connections and fooling themselves that digital connections have meaningful long-term power.
(I always get in trouble when I write about this subject. I get notes that say I am "old-school" or "out of touch". Last week one woman told me I did not understand the new way to network. She said the link was more important that investing time to meet for coffee -- umm, okay. I am a proponent of social media, I encourage people to meet others and cultivate relationships via the internet, and I know many have received business via their social media activities. However, most people I talk with get their referral business and other opportunities from the humans they know in the real world).
I have a rule that I do not accept connections in LinkedIn and Facebook from people I have not gotten to know personally. Most of the time this means we have met in person (or had a phone call). I call my "linking policy" the "Coffee, Meal or Beer Rule". Critics say that I am leaving a plethora of referrals behind by not linking with anyone with a pulse, but I see few who spend much time helping random strangers.
Networking is about developing long-term and mutually-beneficial relationships. That is more than being on Facebook together. This does not mean that the digital tools are not valuable, but I believe they are only part of the mix.
2. Protecting time. Much is written by experts advising others to not take meetings with new people who want have a conversation. While I am careful about not talking too many meetings, to eliminate all these "get to meet you meetings" would take away many of the most powerful connections I have developed over the years. I am open to meetings with people who call me as long as they are willing to meet at a time and place that works for me. I am a morning person, so these are often done early at the Starbucks near my home. A relationship has to start somewhere and a coffee is a great way to get past the facade of what is found in the online world.
I am not against "protecting time", as that is important (we all only have 24 hours per day). But too many people use this to pre-judge who is worthy of their time. If you get to strict against the serendipity of meeting new people then you will miss out on the gems.
There is a fine line here for consultants who sell their time, as there is a difference between a networking meeting and someone who wants free consulting. However, most people are not hourly consultants, so this is not apples to apples.
3. Wanting it too fast. Meeting someone once does not make them part of your network.... it makes them someone you have met. There is a big difference between someone you have encountered (online or in person) and someone with whom you have cultivated a long-term and mutually beneficial relationship. People do business with those they know, like and trust -- However we now have a tendency to think we "know" people upon a single meeting. It used to take time to get to know someone, and "like and trust" came along (or didn't) with that process. Too often we abandon a deeper relationship and stick with the superficial.
You cannot really know a person because you chatted for five minutes, traded business cards, and sent a LinkedIn request!
4. Not networking at all. Some people think it is a waste of time to meet new people. They do not want or need new friend. The rest of us can always benefit from having more connections. If you run from the chances to get to know people in your business community, you are not in the loop for the opportunities they may have to refer your direction.
What other trends do you see when you are out networking?
Have A Great Day.
thom singer
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
How Small Companies and Small Vendors Can Become Real Partners
There is a great interview with Ken Piddington, CIO of Global Partners LP, on the Network World website about how he implemented an innovate vendor partnership program within his company.
I highly recommend that everyone from big companies, and those who are vendors to large corporations, read this article. It is full of great suggestions, concepts and tips for improving ways that business can maximize their relationships with suppliers (and create win / win results).
[Note: I have met both Ken Piddington and the writer, John Dix].
But you do not need to be a giant multi-national company to expect meaningful partnership relationships with your vendors. The same concepts that Ken has put into place are also possible for small companies and solo-entrepreneurs. The expectations of a strategy for efficiency should be present in all working relationships. Both the vendors and the clients must create a mutual understanding and a policy of respect.
Here are my thoughts for how small vendors and small customers can better create win / win relationships:
1. Be realistic. As a customer I have high expectations of what I expect from those who provide me with products and services. At the same time I also know that I am a small fish in the ponds where I purchase. Many small businesses complain that those from whom they make the least money complain the most. I have talked with several consultants and other businesses who routinely (and happily) fire clients who act as if they are the only priority. As a customer I try to not set unrealistic demands and expectations on those with whom I work. When there is a difference of opinion in how a situation is handled I attempt to not have an overblown and knee jerk reaction toward my vendors. Threatening to take my tiny spend elsewhere will not put the fear of God into them, and I do not like to have an adversary relationship with anyone whom I do business.
2. Ask questions. When I assume I know what is going on behind the scenes I almost always screw up the relationship. The more questions I ask of my vendors and my clients, the better chance I have of getting it right.
3. Seek solutions through understanding. When conflict does arrive I try to seek an understanding of their situation. I had one vendor point out that while they like doing business with me, they do not make any profit from my contract. They keep me as a client because they believe in me and the growth of my company, but once I realized the realities of my real value to them, my expectations changed. We continue to work together, and I refer them other clients whenever I can to make up for what I am not paying them in dollars.
4. Think Win / Win. Regardless of being the vendor or the client you both should approach all interactions from a pursuit of "win / win" (beyond the exchange of money for services). When this is done well then there is more opportunity for victory. Too often I used to think my writing a check (as a client) or receiving a check (as a vendor) as the most important part of that relationship. That changed after having a vendor relationship with a PR firm who I later realized only saw our relationship as their cashing my checks. There was no long term win / win from them. The experience was a disaster. Over time I could have provided them with a good amount of referral business beyond the engagement, but they were only concerned with the transactional elements. They did not care about me, thus I now send my referrals elsewhere. From the start that relationship was never about the bigger picture for either of us, and that it was doomed to fail.
The PR disaster taught me to interview vendors and seek partners who want to see an ongoing friendship beyond just the transaction.
5. Say "Thank You". Even when you are paying someone to do a job, thanking them goes a long way. When you need to complain, be sure to wrap it in the context of all the good things the vendor has provided you along the way. If you just focus on the problem, then the value of all the positives that have come before are washed away in a flood of emotion. If you are the vendor, the "thank you" to the client is a reminder that you appreciate their business. It is easy to get busy or to turn gratitude into an automated task. When both partners remember to show appreciation, the relationship lasts longer and pays more dividends.
Regardless of if you are a big company or solo-entrepreneur (or any size in-between) you want meaningful partnerships with your vendors. As a vendor you long for clients who want to see you be successful, not just those who want the best price. Put plans in place to create better relationships and everyone wins.
In the Network World article Ken Piddington said:
I highly recommend that everyone from big companies, and those who are vendors to large corporations, read this article. It is full of great suggestions, concepts and tips for improving ways that business can maximize their relationships with suppliers (and create win / win results).
[Note: I have met both Ken Piddington and the writer, John Dix].
But you do not need to be a giant multi-national company to expect meaningful partnership relationships with your vendors. The same concepts that Ken has put into place are also possible for small companies and solo-entrepreneurs. The expectations of a strategy for efficiency should be present in all working relationships. Both the vendors and the clients must create a mutual understanding and a policy of respect.
Here are my thoughts for how small vendors and small customers can better create win / win relationships:
1. Be realistic. As a customer I have high expectations of what I expect from those who provide me with products and services. At the same time I also know that I am a small fish in the ponds where I purchase. Many small businesses complain that those from whom they make the least money complain the most. I have talked with several consultants and other businesses who routinely (and happily) fire clients who act as if they are the only priority. As a customer I try to not set unrealistic demands and expectations on those with whom I work. When there is a difference of opinion in how a situation is handled I attempt to not have an overblown and knee jerk reaction toward my vendors. Threatening to take my tiny spend elsewhere will not put the fear of God into them, and I do not like to have an adversary relationship with anyone whom I do business.
2. Ask questions. When I assume I know what is going on behind the scenes I almost always screw up the relationship. The more questions I ask of my vendors and my clients, the better chance I have of getting it right.
3. Seek solutions through understanding. When conflict does arrive I try to seek an understanding of their situation. I had one vendor point out that while they like doing business with me, they do not make any profit from my contract. They keep me as a client because they believe in me and the growth of my company, but once I realized the realities of my real value to them, my expectations changed. We continue to work together, and I refer them other clients whenever I can to make up for what I am not paying them in dollars.
4. Think Win / Win. Regardless of being the vendor or the client you both should approach all interactions from a pursuit of "win / win" (beyond the exchange of money for services). When this is done well then there is more opportunity for victory. Too often I used to think my writing a check (as a client) or receiving a check (as a vendor) as the most important part of that relationship. That changed after having a vendor relationship with a PR firm who I later realized only saw our relationship as their cashing my checks. There was no long term win / win from them. The experience was a disaster. Over time I could have provided them with a good amount of referral business beyond the engagement, but they were only concerned with the transactional elements. They did not care about me, thus I now send my referrals elsewhere. From the start that relationship was never about the bigger picture for either of us, and that it was doomed to fail.
The PR disaster taught me to interview vendors and seek partners who want to see an ongoing friendship beyond just the transaction.
5. Say "Thank You". Even when you are paying someone to do a job, thanking them goes a long way. When you need to complain, be sure to wrap it in the context of all the good things the vendor has provided you along the way. If you just focus on the problem, then the value of all the positives that have come before are washed away in a flood of emotion. If you are the vendor, the "thank you" to the client is a reminder that you appreciate their business. It is easy to get busy or to turn gratitude into an automated task. When both partners remember to show appreciation, the relationship lasts longer and pays more dividends.
Regardless of if you are a big company or solo-entrepreneur (or any size in-between) you want meaningful partnerships with your vendors. As a vendor you long for clients who want to see you be successful, not just those who want the best price. Put plans in place to create better relationships and everyone wins.
In the Network World article Ken Piddington said:
"I said I no longer wanted event driven relationships. I want it to be better planned out, not just you selling me and not just me calling you because of a problem."
Real power comes from the cultivation of long-term and mutually beneficial relationships where everyone is has more success because of those relationships than they would without them.
Have A Great Day.
thom singer
Tennis Anyone?
My teenager took an interest in tennis this summer. She took lessons and did a week-long camp to learn the basics and was excited to go play, even in the Texas summer heat.
Unlike her four years of Karate (she is a Black Belt), this is an activity that requires a partner to play. I have never played the sport, and am overall not a natural athlete, thus I was not sure I was suited to go knock the ball around. Plus, I did not want to play tennis.
I promised her in June that if she still had an interest in tennis in September that I would take lessons. Last week she joined the Tennis Club at her high school, and is practicing three days a week. I see what comes next.... I am about to become a tennis player
I will start my beginner lessons in either September or October (I need to schedule the classes around my travel schedule, and thus I must choose a month when I am around on the same day each week). There are a couple of local places I can take adult lesson, and then there are leagues and clinics that will follow. I am not sure I am thrilled about this, but I always try to keep my promises.
Have A Great Day.
thom singer
Unlike her four years of Karate (she is a Black Belt), this is an activity that requires a partner to play. I have never played the sport, and am overall not a natural athlete, thus I was not sure I was suited to go knock the ball around. Plus, I did not want to play tennis.
I promised her in June that if she still had an interest in tennis in September that I would take lessons. Last week she joined the Tennis Club at her high school, and is practicing three days a week. I see what comes next.... I am about to become a tennis player
I will start my beginner lessons in either September or October (I need to schedule the classes around my travel schedule, and thus I must choose a month when I am around on the same day each week). There are a couple of local places I can take adult lesson, and then there are leagues and clinics that will follow. I am not sure I am thrilled about this, but I always try to keep my promises.
Have A Great Day.
thom singer
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Here Is A Way That Has Never Failed To Bring Opportunities
If you want to find more opportunities in your career or personal life, be a one who gives. Go out of your way to help others achieve their goals, connect them with clients, call them when they need a shoulder to cry on, and encouraging them in finding their dreams. Never undermine the people around you or play devil's advocate. Lift others up at every turn.
The economic situations of the last several years have put additional pressures on everyone, and it seems there is never enough hours in the day to get our own things done. When things are rough many people up walls and go into high-gear self-focus. We hope that other people will refer us to new clients, but sometimes we forget to think of what we can do to impact the ones around us.
People often want to give opportunities to others, but they never seem to make it happen (for a variety of reasons, not all bad ones). Intention does not equal action. I know, I am guilty of this, too.
When I see people who naturally help others, they are the same ones who have huge opportunities appear in their lives. The three biggest givers I know are also among my most successful friends. There is an honest connection here.
I have found when I refer business to others, they often connect me with meeting planners, company training managers, and other potential clients. When you help others achieve their goals, you at top of mind. There is so much noise in our world, that finding a way to be remembered make a difference (giving to others is a great way to be remembered).
Many argue that when they do help others, those people never return the favor. This is true... not everyone will reciprocate. Sometimes they do not have the right connections (not everyone can help you). Others want to help, but do not have "Follow Through DNA" (they are good people who have good intentions, but never get around to following up). Some are just selfish (yep, that is just life). AND,,,,, too often we expect instant quid pro quo (be patient - it may take a long time until they have the right opportunity for you). However, you should still find ways to serve others. You cannot predict who will bring you amazing opportunities, so hording your good deeds will keep both you and others from discovering more success.
Remember this little tid-bit: it is not always the people who you help who will reciprocate on your actions. Experienced givers are always watching. They know the difference between "givers" and "takers" and they will see your efforts. Givers prefer to serve other givers. Life if too short to shower opportunities on takers, so when you serve the greater good for the right reasons.... you will be known to those who matter.
Have A Great Day.
thom singer
The economic situations of the last several years have put additional pressures on everyone, and it seems there is never enough hours in the day to get our own things done. When things are rough many people up walls and go into high-gear self-focus. We hope that other people will refer us to new clients, but sometimes we forget to think of what we can do to impact the ones around us.
People often want to give opportunities to others, but they never seem to make it happen (for a variety of reasons, not all bad ones). Intention does not equal action. I know, I am guilty of this, too.
When I see people who naturally help others, they are the same ones who have huge opportunities appear in their lives. The three biggest givers I know are also among my most successful friends. There is an honest connection here.
I have found when I refer business to others, they often connect me with meeting planners, company training managers, and other potential clients. When you help others achieve their goals, you at top of mind. There is so much noise in our world, that finding a way to be remembered make a difference (giving to others is a great way to be remembered).
Many argue that when they do help others, those people never return the favor. This is true... not everyone will reciprocate. Sometimes they do not have the right connections (not everyone can help you). Others want to help, but do not have "Follow Through DNA" (they are good people who have good intentions, but never get around to following up). Some are just selfish (yep, that is just life). AND,,,,, too often we expect instant quid pro quo (be patient - it may take a long time until they have the right opportunity for you). However, you should still find ways to serve others. You cannot predict who will bring you amazing opportunities, so hording your good deeds will keep both you and others from discovering more success.
Remember this little tid-bit: it is not always the people who you help who will reciprocate on your actions. Experienced givers are always watching. They know the difference between "givers" and "takers" and they will see your efforts. Givers prefer to serve other givers. Life if too short to shower opportunities on takers, so when you serve the greater good for the right reasons.... you will be known to those who matter.
Have A Great Day.
thom singer
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
How An Ice-Breaker Can Kill Your Business Meeting
Many business meetings kick off with an ice breaker.... but nobody signs up to attend a conference to play silly games, pull off squares of toilet paper, and share their biggest fear. Jumping right in with some gimmick to break the ice can freeze your introverted attendees and leave them hiding at every break.
Creating a conference culture that promotes networking is paramount to the success of a meeting, but this is not accomplished by leading with exercises that nobody wants to do anyway. My "Conference Catalyst" program is both informative and interactive, but I never instigate the socialization parts right out of the gate. People need to feel comfortable with the venue, the presenter, the community and themselves before they are willing to give 100%.
Too many people who try to lead networking ice-breakers front load these activities into their presentations. This causes the audience hold back in their participation and can kill the mood of the conference networking. You have to wait until the MC or presentation leader has earned the right from the audience to ease people out of their comfort zones.
When ice breakers are done too early people are less likely to open their minds and hearts to the message encouraging them to make meaningful connections at the conference. They are viewed as "hokey" and "forced", and while most people will go through the motions, they are not fully engaged.
Waiting to break the ice will allow people to thaw (I could not resist).
****For a copy of my free eight page special report on creating an atmosphere for better networking at conferences email me at thom (at) thomsinger.com.
Have A Great Day.
thom singer
Creating a conference culture that promotes networking is paramount to the success of a meeting, but this is not accomplished by leading with exercises that nobody wants to do anyway. My "Conference Catalyst" program is both informative and interactive, but I never instigate the socialization parts right out of the gate. People need to feel comfortable with the venue, the presenter, the community and themselves before they are willing to give 100%.
Too many people who try to lead networking ice-breakers front load these activities into their presentations. This causes the audience hold back in their participation and can kill the mood of the conference networking. You have to wait until the MC or presentation leader has earned the right from the audience to ease people out of their comfort zones.
When ice breakers are done too early people are less likely to open their minds and hearts to the message encouraging them to make meaningful connections at the conference. They are viewed as "hokey" and "forced", and while most people will go through the motions, they are not fully engaged.
Waiting to break the ice will allow people to thaw (I could not resist).
****For a copy of my free eight page special report on creating an atmosphere for better networking at conferences email me at thom (at) thomsinger.com.
Have A Great Day.
thom singer
Monday, August 22, 2011
Sorry, I Am Protecting My Time
"Sorry, I am protecting my time". This is what I heard from someone I invited to meet me for coffee.
This person had sent me a LinkedIn request, and in keeping my policy of not linking to strangers when there is no foundation of a relationship, I requested we meet in person
(I enacted the "Coffee, Meal or Beer Rule" several years ago, which just means I want a conversation...could be by phone... with people before adding them to LinkedIn and Facebook. I also allow for the "digital equivalent", as sometimes you get to know someone online and via short meetings at networking events, which is similar to sitting down for coffee).
(I enacted the "Coffee, Meal or Beer Rule" several years ago, which just means I want a conversation...could be by phone... with people before adding them to LinkedIn and Facebook. I also allow for the "digital equivalent", as sometimes you get to know someone online and via short meetings at networking events, which is similar to sitting down for coffee).
She was offended that I would not accept a LinkedIn connection from a total stranger. She said I did not understand networking (ummmm???? okay).
I was offended that she told me she was "protecting" her time. It sounded like I was some kind of time-sucking barbarian.
Stale-mate. Oh well.
Have A Great Day.
thom
Embrace Change and Start Fresh
As my kids return to school today I am reminded of the power of fresh starts. Having a child entering high school, a meaningful milestone, is a strong example of how life is meant to include change. My wife and I seem overwhelmed by this big step, but our daughter is taking it in stride. She is ready to embrace change and start fresh.
Thinking back on my own education, each year came new teachers, friends and experiences. It also brought new freedoms and responsibilities. I spent kindergarten through high school within the same school district, and advanced with many of the same kids all along the way. While our lives remained the same, they also changed constantly. We did not know it at the time, but it was the new experiences that forged our futures. The changes did us good.
Grown-ups embrace fewer fresh starts. We often have a harder time making new friends, and while there are always opportunities for change (career changes, new cities, participation in new groups, etc....), we either avoid it altogether or try to lesson the impact of the newness on our lives.
But life is change. Seeking out ways to reinvent ourselves and encounter the unknown expands opportunities. Our attitude is the key to how we find power in what comes our way. With new experiences can come new people and I believe that adding interesting friends is paramount to a fulfilling life.
I am always seeking to meet new people and try new things. I might even try something other than a Vanilla Latte next time I go into Starbucks (yeah, maybe not).
I am always seeking to meet new people and try new things. I might even try something other than a Vanilla Latte next time I go into Starbucks (yeah, maybe not).
How has your life changed this year?
Have A Great Day
thom singer
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