Networking Revisited: 3 Ways To Ensure You Get Value From Your Business Relationships

Many folks roll their eyes at the idea of "Networking".  They have come to associate the concept with some uneasy schmoozing or phony butt-kissing activities.  There are consultants and coaches who counsel their clients against networking and instead recommend "connecting" (umm, that is like advising against breathing but instead recommending putting air into your lungs through involuntary and repetitive inhalations and exhalations.  Same thing folks.... changing the words does not matter.  A rose by any other name....).  

I have seen speakers proclaim, "Networking is dead, it is all about connecting!" - Oh Please!  Nice words, but networking is alive and well... and when done correctly it can have a huge impact on your career and the lives of others.  Can call it what you want, but people who are committed to cultivating strong business relationships often have more opportunities.

When asking people for definitions of "networking" one gets a variety of thoughts on the topic.  However, I have found the best description is:

"The creation of long-term and mutually-beneficial relationships between two or more people where all those involved in the relationship succeed more because of the connections than they would without."

Key words: long-term and mutually beneficial.  If it is one sided (or a quick hit) it is not networking.  People who show up at industry events looking for favors without a commitment to the greater community are not networking.  Being part of somebody's network means you are invested in their success in addition to your own.

Three Ways To Ensure You Get Value from Networking:

1.  Long Term Commitment.  If you show up at a business event to meet people expecting fast results for your business you will leave disappointed.  The networking does not take place at an event, conference or other gathering where you meet business professionals (online or offline).  The place you meet is simply a tool for starting a conversation.  Networking happens over the years that follow.  You will not develop an ongoing you relationship with everyone you meet, however those with whom you cultivate ongoing connections are the people that will become part of your long term circle of influence.  You help them and they help you, but nobody keep score.

Meeting someone once does not make them part of your network.  It makes them someone you have met once!

2.  Kill the Elevator Pitch.  We spend a lot of time teaching business professionals to create an elevator pitch about who they are and what they do for a living.  Cute and catchy multi-sentence descriptive phrases do not get others excited or interested when they meet you.  Instead of immediately talking about yourself and your company (and reciting a rehearsed monologue), ask them questions about their business and personal life.  Take an interest in what is important in their world long before you talk about yours.  (Note:  it is important to be able to clearly and concisely tell others about you, just do not lead with it).

Do not make networking all about your needs.  Start the relationships by showing you care about their future success as well as your own.

3.  Refer Business to Other People Everyday.  It is interesting that those who say networking does not work are often the same people who almost never go out of their way to help others find new business.  We live in a busy world and we are all trying to find out own success, but if you only focus on your own needs then you cannot establish a real network (or reap the rewards from networking).  

Zig Ziglar said it best: "You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help other people get what they want".  Look back at your past month and determine how often you directly referred business or talked up others (including online).  If you increase your efforts to help others find success, you will see more success.

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Bust The Cliques At Association Conferences

Association conferences can be cliquey.  

I know, people claim their meeting is different.  Ice breakers, first-time receptions, and other efforts are made to help people connect.... but human nature being what it is, we end up with cliques.

It is like high school.  There was always a "cool kids table", and those who sat there may have had no idea they were exclusive. This happens at annual gatherings too, as people build friendships over the years and they are so happy to get together that their whole purpose for attending is a mini-reunion with their clique.  This is not bad, as these peer-to-peer friendships help drive attendance, but it can also leave others feeling as if they are on the outside looking inward.

Now, there is also the problem that not everyone will hit it off and be friends.  You cannot force relationships to grow, and sometimes there are just people who are misfits to a group.  But everyone should be able to find their own peeps at an association conference, and those who are long-time members can benefit from seeking out new people to add to their circles.

So what can be done to make the attendees at your event become more inclusive?  Talk about the elephant in the room.  Make connecting it part of your opening ceremonies.  

I belong to an organization that makes a point each year to stress how welcoming their members are to those they do not know.  They praise the big tent / family atmosphere... but is it real?  At the convention two years ago I stood alone for two hours at a reception waiting to see how many people would come talk to me.  Aside from a few friends (who were not aware of my intentional experiment) not one person said hello (and I was trying to look around, make eye contact, and not look creepy).  Then the president stood up and raved about how there are no cliques in this organization.  Ummm, wrong... this group is no different from other associations.

Pretending your members are all seeking and inviting strangers into conversations does not make it real. 

It is better to create a networking culture at a conference, but this does not happen by accident.  You must create an atmosphere that gives people permission to engage.  They want to do it, but it does not happen organically.  Most people cite "networking opportunities" as a main reason for coming to a conference, but their time is spent with co-workers, old friends, and on their phones.

Your speakers are key to getting people to engage.  This does not necessarily mean they must use ice breakers (most ice breakers are lame anyway), but instead they have to be conversational and interactive style that encourages attendees to share with each other.  It is often the "Hallway Conversations" (those serendipitous chats between people) that bring the greatest ROI to the "Conference Attendee Experience".  And yet in the planning stages of an event we often fail to allow for those moments to occur (as in the planning we are focused on content and food!! - both important, by the way).

If you think your event has issues with cliques or simply not enough engagement, there are many things you can do to put a new spark in how people interact.  People are hoping your meeting will be a "happening", as nobody comes seeking "blah".  However, amazing human engagement will not happen by accident.  

If you make networking a second tier priority you will have second tier results.

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Thom Singer is known as "The Conference Catalyst". He works with meeting planners and conference organizers to set the tone for a meeting. His presentations educate, inspire and motivate attendees to engage deeper in the event and make meaningful connections.  http://www.conferencecatalyst.com 

www.ConferenceCatalyst.com

Networking At A Conference Is More Than The Welcome Reception

The team at Velvet Chainsaw Consulting has released an informative e-book called "Conference Connexity" (Available free to the readers of their blog).  The book is a quick-read and highlights the importance of community and connection in the execution of a successful event.

Conference attendees always cite the "networking opportunities" as a reason for attending a live event, but once they get there, they often fail at making the type of meaningful connections they desire.  The planners try to give their audiences what they want, but are often perplexed on how to change up the same-old / same-old format.

The book covers a lot of ground in thirty pages, but it is full of ideas that can inspire new ways to plan your conference to weave the networking opportunities throughout the whole agenda.  We cannot force people to have great conversations, but when we show them how to engage with each other, and create a networking culture, then amazing things will happen.  

Here are my favorite five points in the book:

1. Embed networking throughout the conference program.  If we treat the human-to-human engagement as a second-tier activity, then we will get second-tier results.  Networking is not just something to do over cocktails, but can happen in the hallways and in the sessions.  Speakers need to be selected as partners in the success of the event, and trained in how to make their sessions engaging.

2. People value connections with leadership and experienced practitioners.  Make sure that your organization's board, senior staff, speakers, and other VIP's are participating in the event.  Often these people are either in committee meetings, at private gatherings, or hiding in their hotel rooms.  Too often speakers leave immediately after their talk, cheating the audience from their chance to connect.  

3.  Program enough "white space" (free time).  A 15 minute break does not give people enough time to pee, much less get coffee, have a conversation, and allow their brains time to process the information.  While cramming in content seems like a great idea in the planning stages, rushing your attendees from room to room cuts into their positive experience.

4.  Weave innovation "Thought Leaders" into your program.  The speakers set the tone for the whole event. Having only industry experts or celebrities as speakers can create a predictable and boring conference.  Sometimes the best speakers come from outside your business, and having keynoters who make people think and take actions will jump start more interesting conversations.

5.  Unleash planned serendipity.  Leverage your information about the attendees to create situations where they can make better connections.  Create areas where people can gather and talk.  Have special events for like-minded attendees.  Train your volunteers and help them engage with each other and the whole audience.

I suggest you read the Velvet Chainsaw e-book, and make connecting your community an up-front priority for all your events.

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Thom Singer is known as "The Conference Catalyst". He works with meeting planners and conference organizers to set the tone for a meeting. His presentations educate, inspire and motivate attendees to engage deeper in the event and make meaningful connections. http://www.conferencecatalyst.com 

Attend Meetings If You Want Opportunity - Stay Home If Not Interested

When attending a conference do not underestimate the power of the human element. There is sometimes a feeling that it is "un-cool" to admit to wanting to network while attending an event, but this is where you find the value at live conferences, trade shows, conventions, and seminars.

When I speak at an event I often am making a case for connecting with people in a social media crazy world.  This is not to undermine the power of digital and mobile tools, but to make sure we do not forget to look others in the eye.  

If the purpose of a meeting was only to gain information then we would not need to convene. While I love experiencing the presentation of a GREAT speaker, those are rare in our day of everyone being an expert (regardless of their ability to speak).  Too few speakers have the ability inspire an audience to learn from their talk.  

Reading a white paper or watching a recorded video on your computer could transmit the data (if learning was the only purpose), but sharing all aspects of a conference with peers is how we find value in meetings.  The serendipity of "hallway conversations" can hardly be duplicated in an online chat box, and is often where people get their deepest learning moments.

While attending the luncheon at a conference recently I had a debate about the power of face-to-face meetings and networking with a guy who was convinced that the day of the meeting was behind us.  He was opinionated, but very well informed.  He was at the event himself, but seemed torn by why others would attend.

Our conversation was a respectful discussion, although we disagreed.  Over the next few days we hung around together often and became friends.  One night in the bar he was telling me how he got his current job (a great one, I might add).  Turns out he met his boss at a conference similar to the one we were attending.  I inquired if it was really a "live meeting" that lead to his dream job?

He smiled and said, "I guess meetings are a thing of the past, except for those who want opportunity".

What a great line: 

Meetings are a thing of the past, except for those who want opportunity.

When you attend you next live event, do not pretend that people do not matter.  Nothing matters more.  Take the time to meet people and get to know them.  You never know what can happen with the right connection.  However, if you do not connect then you can be fairly certain that there will be nothing.

Remember:  All opportunities come from people! 

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Thom Singer is known as "The Conference Catalyst". He works with meeting planners and conference organizers to set the tone for a meeting. His presentations educate, inspire and motivate attendees to engage deeper in the event and make meaningful connections.  http://www.conferencecatalyst.com 

www.ConferenceCatalyst.com

Captain Ahab - The Fisherman of Networking Opportunities

Geeg Wiles from Massachusetts was recently in Austin with his travel companion, Captain Ahab.  Geeg and I met to discuss the business of speaking professionally, as he has begun speaking on college campuses encouraging students on living life to the fullest, creating experiences, and cultivating relationships.... as it is the real life connections with people that make a difference in our lives ---  not just the "likes", "follows", "links" and "shares" of social media (hmmmm..... sounds like a refreshingly familiar message!!!).

He does not travel alone.  For over 12 years he has roamed the United States with Ahab.  His partner in crime is quiet, but always the center of attention.  People stare, laugh, question, giggle, roll their eyes, look away in horror, and/or come up to have their photo taken with the two foot tall fisherman that apparently wants to be a pirate.

This leads Geeg, and anyone with him, to start interesting conversations and build friendships.

Captain Ahab is a wooden sculpture.  He began his life on the front lawn of a middle-class home in Massachusetts (think "garden gnome"), but more than a decade ago Ahab was "acquired" by Geeg and his college buddies.  The idea was a short series of adventures and then his being returned with a photo album chronicling his destinations.  However this college prank has grown into a mission of fun, discovery and human-to-human connections.

Everywhere they go Ahab is a conversation starter.  Geeg has met people near and far.  Locals, tourists, celebrities  etc... all come up to learn more about this little yellow wooden man.  While not everyone is interested in talking to Geeg, he is sure that he has met thousands of people because of his not being shy about carting his wood carving all over the place.

I joined Geeg and his friends for lunch on South Congress in Austin, and tagged along as they took Ahab along the funky shopping district (he made an appearance at Allen's Boots and tried on cowboy hats!).  Even in a "Keep Austin Weird" part of town, Ahab turned heads (one would think in Austin a grown man carrying a large carved fisherman would seem tame... but people still wanted to know the back story).

Networking apparently does not need to be just between humans.  Wooden figures are not getting in the game.  To make connections all you have to do is be willing to talk to others.  Take an interest in people and share stories.  You never know what opportunities can grow from conversations with others.

Too bad some of the real people we meet at networking events seem more like wood statues than old Ahab!

To learn more about Ahab's Adventures you can follow him on Facebook or check out www.ahabsadventures.com

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Why Networking Does Work

Inc. Magazine has an online article on their website by Erick V. Hotlzclaw titled "Why Networking Doesn't Work".  The article is right and wrong at the same time.  It misses the point, as it focuses the definition of the word "networking" as if it only means "working a room". 

He makes the same mistake others do by trying to categorize small pieces of what it is to network as the whole.  The problem with the article is in the semantics and definition of "Networking". 

The definition I teach is:

"Networking is the creation and cultivation of long-term and mutually beneficial relationships between two or more people; where all involved succeed more because of the relationships than they would without the relationships".  

Now that works every time.  A long-term and mutually-beneficial relationship is always a good thing!!!

Holtzclaw sites "networkers" who run around collecting cards as the problem with networking.  I don't see that very often.  Yes, there are those who make idiots of themselves and have poor skills when it comes to engagement in the community, but that is not the average person at business events.

I also take exception with the word "networkers" in the way he uses it...  as I am not sure what "networker" really is by his definition.  Nobody holds that job title of "networker" (whom I have ever met).  Instead there are professionals in all industries who cherish learning about people, and cultivate meaningful connections that can (and will) lead to more opportunity for all involved.  But they are not "networkers"... they are a Realtors, lawyers, doctors, sales professionals and all other vocations.  The use of the word in this manner seems to undermine their real career efforts of these people.

If it is anything, a "networker" is someone who does a great job of creating relationships and serving others, not someone who fails at the task.

Networking should not be seen as a verb - "Oh, I need to Go Network".  Instead it is a lifestyle and a commitment to the people you encounter in your community.

As I read Holtzclaw's advice on how to do a better job,..... it was spot on right!!!  However his tips for how to properly network and get them most out of your time and efforts was listed as if it was somehow separate from "networking". 

Parts are not the whole of networking.  Yes, we can (and should) help others learn how to create the types of relationships that will lead to a better future and more opportunity.  But he is not really telling people that message with the title of "Why Networking Doesn't Work".  The reality of his article is educating people "Why Networking Does Work"....when done the right way.

A rose by any other name.....

Have A Great Day.

thom singer

The Value From Attending SXSW Comes From The People and The City (It is NOT in your phone!)

That time of year is here again.  SXSW in Austin, Texas.

I have lived in Austin for nearly 22 years and have seen the changes that have come to SXSW over the years.  There is so much that goes on from the Music, Film, and Interactive conferences.... but the thing that makes SXSW magical is not found on the agenda.  The real pizzazz that makes these festivals so exciting is the mix of the people and the backdrop of Austin, Texas.

Austin has a vibe.  Those who have not experienced this might roll their eyes-- But others are nodding their heads as they read these words.  Austin is cool and the people who live here are very nice.  When you come to SXSW get ready for more than your average multi-day mega event.

I have attended SXSW Interactive for seven years.  The conference has exploded over time, and many argue that it has gotten too large (some say there is "shark jumping" going on - but I disagree).  In the early years I saw a very integrated community.  There was no levels of "whose who", but instead people were all part of a family.  Now there are clearly cliques and walls that exist and it is much harder to meet people and make connections.  

But I do not think it is the size of the conference that has made it harder to meet people, but it is the adoption of technology over the past five years that has undermined the connectivity of SXSW Interactive.  Ironic that a conference about technology is being hurt by the tech tools that have become pervasive. 

People spend too much time on apps, and not enough time experiencing the human-to-human part of being at a live conference.  They do not look up and see the amazing life in the city that exists around the Convention Center or even their fellow participants.  

If you are coming to SXSW do not spend all your time glued to the agenda of panels, speakers, exhibits and parties.  Get you head up from your smart phone and witness all that is around you.  Get sucked in by the "Austin Vibe" and share all you see with people who are here... not posting pics to Instagram or Facebook so that your friends at home can be jealous.

I am not saying to not use technology.  That would be ridiculous.  The SXSW Interactive participants would have strokes and heart attacks if not constantly attached to their electronics, and the local paramedics would not be able to handle that number of emergency calls.  

Instead I am suggesting you develop a balance between looking at your devices and looking at the people around you.  During a speaker or panel, if the speaker is not able to captivate your attention... jump on your phone and surf the internet (or leave the room).  But during the scheduled breaks do not walk the halls as a "Phone Zombie". Spend your breaks in discussions with others.  While standing in line, say "hello" to people.  There is power in the word "hello" and it can spark conversations.  

These "Hallway Conversations" is where you will find the real ROI in coming to SXSW.  If you take actions to engage with other people, you will find your visit to Austin to be amazing.  If you are staring at your phone the whole time it is a waste of time and money to fly to Texas (however our Chamber of Commerce and City Government do appreciate your spending money here regardless of if you get a benefit from being present).

I challenge you to put your phone away more than you would usually and see if it improves your time at the event.  If the SXSW culture became one of talking to people then the event will be better.  If the culture is one where everyone is buried in a phone or tablet, the conference will fall flat.  

Choose people!!!

Have A Great Day.

thom singer

You Can't Know Everyone

Something weird has happened the last few years,.... the definition of the word "know"...K.N.O.W..... has changed throughout our society.  Everyone thinks they "know" everyone.

Getting to know someone used to be a process.  It could not happen immediately, and nobody expected to fully understand the psyche  and personal motivation of another person by viewing them from afar.

But social media has changed all that.  People now assume a relationship because they have heard of the other person.... regardless of if they have even met in person.

"We are friends, I met him at a convention last year"

"I know her... I read her blog"

"We follow each other on Twitter"

"She's my Facebook friend"

Because of this new environment there are a lot of hurt feelings when one person assumes there is a relationships when there was only an encounter.  The word "connection" is used often, but that used to mean something of value.... now it could mean we are both clicked "like" on LinkedIn.

Shaking hands at a conference and trading business cards does NOT make someone part of your network.  It makes them someone you have met once.  There is a big difference between a brief chat and an ongoing mutually-beneficial relationship.  Our propensity to seek shortcuts does not serve us well when building a network that brings value to all involved.

A friend complained recently that someone she met did not remember her the second time they crossed paths.  She was upset, and I understand, because I have been there (actually I have been on both sides of this problem!).  But in our busy society we meet so many people that we cannot possibly be expected to recall everyone, especially if the original meeting was for a short duration and did not make an impression.

I asked my friend what she did to follow up with that person after their initial encounter?  The answer was "nothing", but she still expected to be remembered.  She had not sent a handwritten note, an email or a phone call.  She had never reached out to make a referral to her new acquaintance or invited them to join her at a networking event.

Is it our responsibility to remember everyone we encounter even if that person did not make an effort to cultivate a future relationship?

Not everyone who meets me will recall me later.  Nor will some give a damn that I exist.  I do not take it personally, but instead I assume this because I do not matter in their life at this point.  Now, if I have met them several times... that stings, but everyone has their own priorities (and that may not include me).

Assuming that we are important to each person whose hand we shake is one sided.  Just because we desire their attention does not mean we deserve it.

Being forgotten once should not undermine the opportunity for a great friendship in the future.  Instead of getting mad, take ownership that you did not make a lasting impression.  If we wish to build something we need to work on being memorable.  One of the best ways to be remembered is to make a referral or otherwise connect the person with someone who brings them closer to their goals.  Now you cannot do this for everyone, but too few people ever do this for anyone.  Serving others in some way will make it more likely for you get noticed.

You can't "know" everyone.  It is okay.  And not everyone wants to know you.  Focus on the people who you do know, those whom you want to get to know better, and especially those who show a desire to create a long-term friendship where you both seek to help each other succeed.  It takes time to really establish a network.  Stop thinking it is about knowing everyone and cherish the ones that matter.

Show you care by being the one who instigates the follow up and maybe they will remember you.  If you want people to care that you exist then show them you have an interest in their success, too.

And if they do not seek to establish a relationship... so what.... send them good vibes and move on to someone who does think you matter!

Have A Great Day.

thom singer

Networking Mistakes Being Made At Almost Every Conference

Mistakes are made at events.  People say they come for the "networking opportunities"... but then they often fail to make meaningful connections.  Planners know that this is an issue and are always seeking ways to help attendees do a better job of meeting each other.  It is well known that the agenda matters and data is important... but when people have great "hallway conversations" with their peers, the event is a bigger success.  Thus getting people together means exceptional events.

Here are the most common mistakes people make when networking

1. Spending too much time with coworkers and other friends. Cliques are a big problem at events, even though people do not intend to be exclusive. It is easy to gravitate to those we already know and close ourselves off from the opportunity to meet new people. If this goes unchecked, it can undermine the whole atmosphere.

To combat this you must be conscious of the need to get people engaged.  Since people attend a conference, trade show, convention, seminar or other events for the "networking opportunities", there must be an environment where the people are the stars of the show.  Too often we see events that claim "content is king", and while learning is important, it does not trump the human experience.

2. Seeking time with celebrity speakers, industry gurus and other VIPs. Many people have a hope that they will meet someone more established (or famous) who will reach out and pull them up to the top. While this could happen, the reality is that most of these VIPs are not at the event hoping to discover a protege.  They are polite and happy to talk with those who stand in line to meet them, but few go home and follow up with those they encountered.  But when industry gurus or celebrities are highlighted as the focal point of the whole event, it is not surprising attendees flock to them.

A better idea is to get people to spend time with peers. Discovering others who are at similar career levels is an invest in establishing the foundation to what can grow into a meaningful and mutually beneficial friendships.  Conferences need to champion the power of the audience over their agenda and their celebrity speakers.

3. Talking too much. People often think that they should impress those they meet at conferences.  Hours are spent trying to craft a catchy "elevator pitch" and agendas include "speed networking" programs that turn the process of meeting into a fast-talking parlor game.  Instead of trying to be interesting, attendees should be interested in others and what they have to say.

Forget the goofy ice-breaker games and instead educate people to ask the types of questions that will launch meaningful conversations. The more one inquires about others, the better impression made. Talking too much about yourself will turn many people off (I struggle with this and am working to improve).

4. Paying attention to electronics. Smartphones and other gadgets are wonderful tools to make our lives more efficient, but at a conference they can be the wall that blocks interesting chats. If someone is on their phone they cannot be engaged with others and do not look approachable. Yet telling people to put their phones away will create a problem, as that is just not going to happen for many.

When a face is buried in a phone it tells others that the really fascinating people are elsewhere and that the offender is choosing email, text and social media over talking with them.  Creating a place where people want to have live conversations is always a challenge, but it can happen if the planners are intentional in their efforts.

5. Skipping keynotes and other sessions. People are experiential beings. When at an event there must be participation if an attendee wants to be part of the "mini-society" that is created at a conference.  There are communal activities that are expected for admittance into the group.  Yet too many people scour the schedule for when they can retreat.

Being present and active in all aspects of the conference must be part of the culture.  Creating an expectation for involved behavior throughout the event must be established. Building downtime into the agenda so that people do not feel overwhelmed is an important step to keep them from running away from the main events.

6. Expecting a short conversation to make someone part of a network. It can take several meaningful interaction with people before someone notices another exists. It is not uncommon for people to not grasp what another person does for a living until they heard it several times. Thus one meeting is not usually significant to create a relationship.  Yet people think a brief encounter makes them lifelong friends and are convinced they have established something meaningful.

Encourage your attendees to follow up with those they meet after the conference.  Do not let the power of connection created at your event die as soon as people leave for the airport.  Online communities and other forms of follow up should encourage people to extend their conversations once they get home.

7. Arriving late, leaving early, or skipping the networking time altogether. The best networking takes place before and after the main programs. Too often people will show up for the education but not the networking, and then wonder why they did not meet anyone who could have an impact on their future.

Being present at the networking events with a purposeful intention to meet others and discover what they are all about is the only way people will have success. Creating events that are uniquely interesting is important.  Simply coming to a ballroom for cheese and wine is hardly appealing to those who attend a lot of events.  The more inviting the social activity, the more likely people are to show up.

************

The best way to create an atmosphere for better networking is to make it a priority.  Do not pretend it is not important or that the human experience is secondary to the rest of the agenda.  Recognize that people want to connect, but that they will always suck at it when left to their own devices.  Address the elephant in the room and give your attendees the permission to network (it is what they want to do!!!)

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Thom Singer is known as "The Conference Catalyst". He works with meeting planners and conference organizers to set the tone for a meeting. His presentations educate, inspire and motivate attendees to engage deeper in the event and make meaningful connections.  http://www.conferencecatalyst.com 

www.ConferenceCatalyst.com

Conference Speakers- Please Provide Three Learning Objectives AND Three Connection Objectives

People do not attend business events simply for the content.  There is a perceptional disconnect that "content is king" when it comes to planning events.  If the purpose of events is only about content there are many more efficient ways to garner information.  If people only desire the educational component, they could read books, surf the net, watch videos, take a class, view a webinar, hire a consultant, etc....  If your attendees only want content.... send them a white paper!

Connections with others is an important part motivation for attending conferences, trade shows, conventions, seminars and other gatherings.  Humans are social beings.  Even with all the discussions about introverts and extroverts, all who attend events hope that they will create some meaningful relationships.  Being an introvert does not mean they never want to associate with others (introvert does not translate to hermit), but instead it is about the need for some private down-time to recharge their batteries.  Most introverts enjoy their time with others, and I know many who thrive while attending business events (they are just not getting their energy at the happy hour like many of their extrovert brethren).  Yet many planners think if they have a "left-brained" crowd that they do not care about connections.  Not necessarily.

It is an easy excuse to hide behind the importance of the learning component to mask the failure to create an atmosphere for better networking and beneficial connections.  I am not discounting the legitimacy of learning at events (so don't mis-interpret my purpose).  People are not only seeking great parties when they attend a conference.  They want both education and connections.

The best learning at events is often claimed to come during the "hallway conversations", those spontaneous deep-dive chats that take place with other attendees after participating in a keynote or breakout session.  People have ideas, and when they share them with each other bigger ideas can be born.  Additionally the old-style expert lecture has lost appeal to those in the audience.  People want interactive, which means more than open-mic Questions at the end of a talk.  Yet defining "interactive" is not easy, as it is a feeling.  Some of the best interactive speakers do not do traditional Q & A or live exercises.  Yet their style leave people feeling they were part of the conversation (when maybe they never said a word).  The speakers ability to created community is paramount to success.

Creating a better "Conference Attendee Experience" means that all aspects of a conference must move toward both learning and connections.  Speakers are regularly asked to provide there learning objectives to the planners in advance of the talk, but I believe event organizers should also be asking those that present for three ways they encourage audience connections in their presentations.  Regardless of their topic as speaker should be prompting conversations in the hallways after their session ends.  If there is just a dump of data without anything more the whole session if a flop.  Planners should demand more from those who present.

Many speakers claim their job is to share their expertise, not contribute to the overall effectiveness and success of the meeting.  WRONG.  All speakers (keynote and breakout) are responsible for setting the tone for the whole event.  Presentations should actively engage the audience before, during and after the speech (this means live at the event and before and after via social media, etc...).  Having the speakers present at breaks, happy hours and meals the day of the talk (if not throughout the whole conference) is usually desired by attendees, and makes the speakers part of the mini-society that is created at an event.

What are the connection objectives for your event?

Have A Great Day.

thom singer

Thom Singer is known as "The Conference Catalyst". He works with meeting planners and conference organizers to set the tone for a meeting. His presentations educate, inspire and motivate attendees to engage deeper in the event and make meaningful connections. http://www.conferencecatalyst.com 

Hallway Networking Is A Key Part of Conference Learning

Many people profess the best experiences they have when attending conferences, trade shows, conventions and other business gatherings come from the people they meet.  The hallway conversations after a keynote or a concurrent session is often where people process the information and share real life information with their peers.  The act of discussing the experience of the presentation and curriculum allow the shared knowledge to be digested and expanded.  This "hallway networking" is an important part of the learning.

Across industry lines people claim to attend events for the "networking opportunities", but organizers and attendees often forget that this power in connecting with people goes deeper than just collecting business cards or seeking to meet someone who can be of career assistance.  It is the sharing of thoughts, ideas, and best practices that can provide the best education.

Standing in line to have a photo taken with a celebrity speaker is nice, but that line should become a moving classroom where the people quiz each other about the nuggets of knowledge they gained from the session.  Seeking the perspective of others can often open our own minds to new points of view.

Preparation of event "Networking Time" should include learning objectives, as do the other educational sessions.  Helping to educate the audience on how to maximize a conference is part of the success for everyone.

In today's social media and mobile crazy world too many are buried in their iPads and smart-phones and pass on the advantages of enhancing the learning by engaging in meaningful conversations.  Some have developed a misunderstanding and adversity to "networking", and that attitude can undermine the culture of a conference.

Talking to your peers is in itself a wonderful way to learn, connect, and improve the ROI of being at the event.

Have A Great Day.

thom singer
www.ThomSinger.com

(Hat tip to meeting industry consultant and thought leader, Jeff Hurt of Velvet Chainsaw, for inspiring this post after a recent conversation in the hallway at an industry event!).

Thom Singer is known as "The Conference Catalyst". He works with meeting planners and conference organizers to set the tone for a meeting. His presentations educate, inspire and motivate attendees to engage deeper in the event and make meaningful connections.  http://www.conferencecatalyst.com 

www.ConferenceCatalyst.com

Guest Blogger - Brian Trivitt - Networking and Exercise

Today's Guest Blogger is my friend Brian Trivitt.

Networking and Exercise

By Brian Trivitt

There are many things in this world that are tough, yet necessary to do. At the same time, it seems like many conversations you have with people sooner or later end up dealing with the subject of how to make things easier in general. The fact is, there are a lot of things you can hire somebody to do for you.  However, there are also some  things that are not only necessary to do if you want to improve your own life;  but more importantly, can only be done by you, regardless of how much fame and fortune you currently may have.

I consistently like to work out to stay in shape and be healthy. After being laid off from a Fortune 50 Company a few months back, I am also making a strong effort to build a network with a wide array of people. So why am I bringing up exercising and networking in the same sentence? Because they are two of the best examples of activities nobody else can do for you.

Not only are tasks that can only be done by you often very beneficial to your own life, but they also separate the true hard workers in this world from the ones who merely claim to work hard.  Can you imagine if one of your New Year's resolutions you told you co-workers that you were paying the kid down the street to go hit the treadmill three times a week for you?

In networking, being present and actually making an effort to converse with people on a consistent basis are critical to building a successful network. Sending somebody else to network for you not only does little to nothing to build your network, but after while, I believe the argument could be made that it actually ends up hurting your efforts more than not networking at all. The reason for this is that successful networking requires that somebody consistently show they are truly interested in getting to know an individual or a group of people. Of course, the only way to do this is for you to be in the presence of the other party and make a genuine effort to get to know them. Beyond that, you must also follow up with an individual to continue to foster the relationship (insert joke here where the rich and powerful CEO has his secretary call the average guy he met the other night to see how he is doing!)

I think most everybody would agree that one of the best feelings in the world is working hard and taking a moment to say to yourself, “this isn’t easy, but the results make it all worthwhile.” So, while you may not make the cover of the latest fitness magazine or become the next networking guru, exercise and networking actually have something very important in common--EVERYBODY has the ability to improve upon their fitness level and their networking skills!

Since everybody has the ability to improve upon some things themselves, I highly recommend examining the things you need to do to improve your own life, and make the effort to do them yourself. Don’t get me wrong, there will always be those tasks that it’s better to have somebody else do them for you (if you are as bad and dislike house cleaning as much as I do, you can do what I did, which is marry a lady who owns a maid service). But besides working on building your network and improving your health, find something that you enjoy making an effort consistently to do on your own.     

Brian Trivitt, MBA, specializes in Enterprise Customer Service and IT Project Management. He holds an undergraduate in Computer Information Systems from Missouri State University and an MBA from Texas State University. Mr. Trivitt is an avid homebrewer who has a passion for brewing as well as analyzing and discussing the beer industry. You can follow him on his blog at trivittbrew.com.

Your Virtual Network.... When Someone Dies

Through social media and blogging I met Tricia Murphy in 2007.  She lived in Dublin, Ireland and was a business consultant who specialized in helping people with the power of business relationships and personal branding.  She was known as "The Networking Queen of Ireland".

She had read my book and blog, and we shared many of the same beliefs about why it is important to choose people in our crazy busy world.  We became "online friends" via email and she often gave copies of my first book, "Some Assembly Required: How To Make, Grow and Keep Your Business Relationships" as door prizes when she spoke around Dublin.

In July 2007 my family visited Ireland and we met Tricia for a wonderful breakfast at a restaurant in Dublin.  We spent hours laughing as she told us the customs of my maternal grandparents homeland.  I blogged about meeting Tricia and the importance adding face-to-face conversations to your virtual connections.  That article also appears as Tip #19 in my book "Batteries Not Included: 66 Tips To Energize Your Career".  (Here is the photo of Tricia and I in Dublin).

We kept in touch for a couple of years, but I had not heard from Tricia in some time.  I think of her often, as she was a big personality and had a great soul.  The emails I sent bounced back, and her company website was no longer a live site.  A quick Google Search this morning revealed that she passed away from Cancer in 2010.  The last time we spoke she told me of her battle, but I had not know of her death.

Since we did not have mutual friends, and were mainly "Social Media Buddies", I had not known of her passing.  There was nobody who could reach out to me to tell me she died, and with so much information always coming at us, it is easy to not notice everything that comes past on a Twitter or Facebook stream (plus we had no mutual connections, anyway).

This experience has made me conscious of how this will become more common in years to come. I have other business connections who have passed away, and still their LinkedIn and Facebook Profiles are living on.  Each time I pass their name, I wonder how social media sites will handle this when more people begin to pass (too few in the social media population have yet begun to die, but the time will come, as we all eventually exit). I lived in the same city with these people, and was notified when they died.  But when we only know people virtually over half a world apart, how can we know when they are gone?

I am sad that Tricia died.  I do not know her friends and family, but they are in my thoughts and prayers.  Even more than 15 months since she passed away, I know she is missed.  The next time I visit Dublin the city will have a little less sparkle without her shining smile.

Have A Great Day.

thom singer

Networking is NOT Sales -- But Sales Without Networking Might Come Up Short

I often have conversations about the differences between marketing, sales, business development, social media, advertising, networking, PR, and branding.  Many have ideas about how to use one of these to fast track success, but I have found they all fit together into what I call "Integrated Visibility".  Each one is a pillar.  While you can remove one or two, if you take them all away the roof falls on your head.

Many people confuse networking with sales.  Networking is NOT sales.  However, sales without networking can come up short.  It is simply a transaction without any long-term meaning.  When we do business with another person it can be the foundation.  But if the purpose is simply to get the sale, and there is not investment in the person, we should not be surprised when our clients referrals and future business go to our competition.

Some argue that they do not have time to invest in the human to human side with everyone they meet.  I believe we must choose people.  Most people you will encounter have very interesting parts to their lives, you simply have to ask questions and listen to the answers.  You will not have an ongoing "love connection" with everybody, but if you are open to it, you will create some powerful friendships along the way.

Every time you are in a sales situation remind yourself that the person on the other side of the transaction is a person... .and all people have a life beyond the product or service being discussed.  If you are interested you will be amazed at what they may bring to your life.

Networking is the creation of long-term and mutually-beneficial relationships between two or more people where everyone involved gains more from the connections than they would without the connections.  It is that simple.  Key words here are "mutually-beneficial", which means you must look for ways to add value to them if you hope they can add value to you.

The best sales people I know are also amazing about sending referrals to their clients.  Hmmmmmmm.

If you are too busy to show you care, you might be missing out on opportunities.

Have A Great Day.

thom singer

Here Are Four Trends In Networking That Could Hurt Your Career

There are four trends in networking that I have seen these recently:

1. Too much online focus.  There has been much attention given to social media the last few years. The internet has certainly changed the way we interact, but some people are creating a lattice of weak connections and fooling themselves that digital connections have meaningful long-term power.

(I always get in trouble when I write about this subject.  I get notes that say I am "old-school" or "out of touch".  Last week one woman told me I did not understand the new way to network. She said the link was more important that investing time to meet for coffee -- umm, okay.  I am a proponent of social media, I encourage people to meet others and cultivate relationships via the internet, and I know many have received business via their social media activities. However, most people I talk with get their referral business and other opportunities from the humans they know in the real world).

I have a rule that I do not accept connections in LinkedIn and Facebook from people I have not gotten to know personally.  Most of the time this means we have met in person (or had a phone call). I call my "linking policy" the "Coffee, Meal or Beer Rule".  Critics say that I am leaving a plethora of referrals behind by not linking with anyone with a pulse, but I see few who spend much time helping random strangers.

Networking is about developing long-term and mutually-beneficial relationships.  That is more than being on Facebook together.  This does not mean that the digital tools are not valuable, but I believe they are only part of the mix.

2.  Protecting time.  Much is written by experts advising others to not take meetings with new people who want have a conversation.  While I am careful about not talking too many meetings, to eliminate all these "get to meet you meetings" would take away many of the most powerful connections I have developed over the years.  I am open to meetings with people who call me as long as they are willing to meet at a time and place that works for me.  I am a morning person, so these are often done early at the Starbucks near my home.  A relationship has to start somewhere and a coffee is a great way to get past the facade of what is found in the online world.

I am not against "protecting time", as that is important (we all only have 24 hours per day).  But too many people use this to pre-judge who is worthy of their time.   If you get to strict against the serendipity of meeting new people then you will miss out on the gems.

There is a fine line here for consultants who sell their time, as there is a difference between a networking meeting and someone who wants free consulting.  However, most people are not hourly consultants, so this is not apples to apples.

3.  Wanting it too fast.  Meeting someone once does not make them part of your network.... it makes them someone you have met.  There is a big difference between someone you have encountered (online or in person) and someone with whom you have cultivated a long-term and mutually beneficial relationship.  People do business with those they know, like and trust -- However we now have a tendency to think we "know" people upon a single meeting.  It used to take time to get to know someone, and "like and trust" came along (or didn't) with that process.  Too often we abandon a deeper relationship and stick with the superficial.

You cannot really know a person because you chatted for five minutes, traded business cards, and sent a LinkedIn request!

4.  Not networking at all.  Some people think it is a waste of time to meet new people.  They do not want or need new friend.  The rest of us can always benefit from having more connections.  If you run from the chances to get to know people in your business community, you are not in the loop for the opportunities they may have to refer your direction.

What other trends do you see when you are out networking?

Have A Great Day.

thom singer

How Small Companies and Small Vendors Can Become Real Partners

There is a great interview with Ken Piddington, CIO of Global Partners LP, on the Network World website about how he implemented an innovate vendor partnership program within his company.

I highly recommend that everyone from big companies, and those who are vendors to large corporations, read this article.  It is full of great suggestions, concepts and tips for improving ways that business can maximize their relationships with suppliers (and create win / win results).

[Note: I have met both Ken Piddington and the writer, John Dix].

But you do not need to be a giant multi-national company to expect meaningful partnership relationships with your vendors.  The same concepts that Ken has put into place are also possible for small companies and solo-entrepreneurs.  The expectations of a strategy for efficiency should be present in all working relationships.  Both the vendors and the clients must create a mutual understanding and a policy of respect.

Here are my thoughts for how small vendors and small customers can better create win / win relationships:

1.  Be realistic.  As a customer I have high expectations of what I expect from those who provide me with products and services.  At the same time I also know that I am a small fish in the ponds where I purchase.  Many small businesses complain that those from whom they make the least money complain the most.  I have talked with several consultants and other businesses who routinely (and happily) fire clients who act as if they are the only priority. As a customer I try to not set unrealistic demands and expectations on those with whom I work.  When there is a difference of opinion in how a situation is handled I attempt to not have an overblown and knee jerk reaction toward my vendors.  Threatening to take my tiny spend elsewhere will not put the fear of God into them, and I do not like to have an adversary relationship with anyone whom I do business.

2.  Ask questions.  When I assume I know what is going on  behind the scenes I almost always screw up the relationship.  The more questions I ask of my vendors and my clients, the better chance I have of getting it right.

3.  Seek solutions through understanding.  When conflict does arrive I try to seek an understanding of their situation.  I had one vendor point out that while they like doing business with me, they do not make any profit from my contract.  They keep me as a client because they believe in me and the growth of my company, but once I realized the realities of my real value to them, my expectations changed.  We continue to work together, and I refer them other clients whenever I can to make up for what I am not paying them in dollars.

4.  Think Win / Win.  Regardless of being the vendor or the client you both should approach all interactions from a pursuit of "win / win" (beyond the exchange of money for services). When this is done well then there is more opportunity for victory.  Too often I used to think my writing a check (as a client) or receiving a check (as a vendor) as the most important part of that relationship.  That changed after having a vendor relationship with a PR firm who I later realized only saw our relationship as their cashing my checks. There was no long term win / win from them.  The experience was a disaster.  Over time I could have provided them with a good amount of referral business beyond the engagement, but they were only concerned with the transactional elements.  They did not care about me, thus I now send my referrals elsewhere.  From the start that relationship was never about the bigger picture for either of us, and that it was doomed to fail.

The PR disaster taught me to interview vendors and seek partners who want to see an ongoing friendship beyond just the transaction.

5.  Say "Thank You".  Even when you are paying someone to do a job, thanking them goes a long way.  When you need to complain, be sure to wrap it in the context of all the good things the vendor has provided you along the way.  If you just focus on the problem, then the value of all the positives that have come before are washed away in a flood of emotion.  If you are the vendor, the "thank you" to the client is a reminder that you appreciate their business.  It is easy to get busy or to turn gratitude into an automated task.  When both partners remember to show appreciation, the relationship lasts longer and pays more dividends.

Regardless of if you are a big company or solo-entrepreneur (or any size in-between) you want meaningful partnerships with your vendors. As a vendor you long for clients who want to see you be successful, not just those who want the best price.  Put plans in place to create better relationships and everyone wins.

In the Network World article Ken Piddington said:

"I said I no longer wanted event driven relationships. I want it to be better planned out, not just you selling me and not just me calling you because of a problem."

Real power comes from the cultivation of long-term and mutually beneficial relationships where everyone is has more success because of those relationships than they would without them.

Have A Great Day.

thom singer