Tweet(s) of the Day - 3 August 2013

Steven Joyce and Russel Norman indulged in a very public spat last night. The Green Party co-leader was making claims via social media that simply didn't stack up, and was called on it by Mr Joyce; here's the exchange:

Whether or not it's a good thing for our politicians to be going at one another in such a public forum is open to debate. But on the other hand, it's good to see that they are human.

"The Coffee, Meal or Beer Rule" of Social Media

There are many opinions about how to best utilize social media tools in your personal and professional lives. I maintain that you have to explore and learn, but in the end do what works for you. 

You will find plenty of "experts" who are sure that their way is the only way.... but there are many paths to building your online reputation and cultivating friendships.

My personal policy for whom I link with on LinkedIn and Facebook is "The Coffee, Meal or Beer Rule".  I have spoken about this for years, but decided to re-post the concept after a recent conversation at a business marketing conference.  

Simply stated, I do not link to people on LinkedIn and Facebook whom I have not interacted with personally.  On Twitter, Google+ and other sites I have different policies, but too many strangers in my LinkedIn and Facebook stream can cloud the value I receive from being engaged in the first place.  

Having read someone's blog, heard about their reputation or briefly meting them at a conference may or many not mean there is a foundation for a relationship.  Thus I established the benchmark of sitting with them for "coffee, meal or beer".  A conversation that lasts 45 minutes establishes a baseline for a minimum level of contact before the online link is made.  I also have "digital equivalent" options such as phone calls, Skype conversations  or Google+ Hang Outs.... as in today's online world our relationships can certainly grow via virtual meetings.

Not every one of my contacts originally met this criteria, but a majority of those in my LinkedIn and Facebook lists are those with whom I have had a substantial initial conversation.  A few got in before I established the policy, and I often make exceptions for meeting professionals and recruiters whose industries practices are to utilize LinkedIn as a way to reach out to people they may wish to do business with in the future.

There are those who disagree with my policy and believe one gains more from linking to everyone, but this has served me well. When I get a request, I will often ask for a personal meeting or a call.  If the person reaching out cannot make the time for a chat, I am not sure why they want the connection at all.

My advice to others is to have a policy (even if it is different from mine), and then to be respectful of others who use these tools in different ways! (Lack of respect for those with differing opinions is an epidemic online, and we must get beyond that!).

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Going Dark on Social Media

 
What is the right thing to do in our social media conversations in the face of a tragic news story?  I had not thought much about this before the Sandy Hook school shootings in 2012 in Connecticut.  That day as the horrors of the shooting played out across the media, I noticed a lot of tweets, Facebook posts, and other social media updates that were "normal".  But was the world normal in that moment?  Too much of what was going on in social media was too self-promotional to match the situation of this national (and worldwide) tragedy.

Immediately following such an incident I often see authors saying "Buy my book", (or those in any profession hawking thier goods) and it can feel akward.  While some of these tweets and posts come from the use of pre-scheduling software to release updates.... other people will continue to add to the live online steam without a thought about the news that is dominating the day. 

When people die, is it really right to be barking for sales?

Since last December I have had several conversations with other authors, speakers, consultants and small business owners about how we might properly behave online when it comes to promoting our businesses when there is a tragic news story that has an impact that reaches over our whole society.  (Additionally, several speakers have shared ideas about what to say from the stage if you are speaking to a live audience in the immediate aftermath of a tragedy.... which is also a touchy subject without clear answers).

There is no right answer here.  How people are impacted by horrors that are not in their back yard can vary.  Some may not be tuned into the news and not be aware.  Some may not feel connected the same way as others.  There are countless things that impact the proper course of action.

Personally I have decided it is best (for me) to "go dark" for 24 hours following some act of terrorism or other awful event.  The bombings at the Boston Marathon have again made me revisit my thoughts.  I do not think talking online about my books, speaking engagements, or other topics is necessary or appropriate in the time of a national emergency.  Thus I did not blog, tweet, or leave updates on Facebook or LinkedIn for the past day.

But this brings up another question.... is 24 hours the right amount of time?  Should it be two days or a week?  If we go too long before returning to our normal life are we allowing the terrorists to win?

My daughter asked if a policy of "going dark" also related to natural disasters (like a hurricane)?  And what if it is not terrorism, but an accident of some kind?  How about incidents in other countries?  Hmmmmm, I am not sure that I can pre-qualify the level of destruction or the severity of what qualifies for my holding quiet on social media.  I think it is more of a guideline that a policy, and I would have to make the decision on a case by case basis.

Should I tweet about the tragedy itself?  I had not thought of this before the issues in Boston.  Someone I know as running, and she was near the explosion, but was it my place to tweet that, or even re-tweet her updates?  Many people posted their thoughts and prayers online that day as they were learning of the incident.  I did not do this (as I decided not to make posts of any kind), but I do not fault those who publicly state their reactions to the acts of horror.  We have come use these social media outlets nowadays as part of our interactions with both friends and the greater society, and there is something comforting seeing so many stand united against evil.

I did leave a message on the Facebook page of that friend who was running the Boston Marathon.  She had posted early in the day about her upcoming race, and so we knew she was there.  She crossed the finish line as the bombs went off (she was right there) and she wisely used Facebook to let people know that she, and her family, were all unhurt.  I commented on her page that I was happy for her update, and praying for her (and others).  Was that really social media, or was that a private conversation with a friend?  Hard to know where the lines are drawn.

I do not write this post to dicate to others who they should behave online on days when the news is dominated by bad things.  I do not hold the answers to these issues of our modern times.  But I am curious how others feel about this topic.  What did you do that day? 

Have A Great Day

thom singer

Presentation Skills and Media Training For High School Athletes

It is not uncommon that business people ask me about presentation skills training.  I often coach executives on how to craft a better speech, and I am passionate about the importance of being able to communicate thoughts on stage, or when being interviewed by the media.  As our society moves more online and mobile the abilities to interact in person seem to be getting worse, not better.

Recently I was contacted by a gentleman who wanted me to coach his son on these skills.  I was not sure that working with a high school athlete was going to be beneficial for me or the kid, but as we talked about their motivation, it was clear that I could provide value.  This young football player is clearly headed toward playing college ball (maybe more?), and with that comes the need for him to be able to articulately communicate in many arenas.

He had taken a speech class his freshman year, but that only educated him on how to research and write a speech.  He did not seem to feel he learned much.  It did not prepare him for what lies ahead in the real world.  Athletes are under a ton of pressure, and learning to think fast, stay positive, and deliver meaningful information is paramount to their long-term success.  

As I researched for this training session I discovered that it is not just college and professional athletes who face the press after games. These days it is not uncommon for reporters to talk with high school students following their games, especially in the highly competitive world of Texas High School Football.  Plus the team leaders will have to speak in the locker room, at school assemblies, and during parent / booster banquets.  The earlier they grasp what it means to be in the spotlight, the more confident they can become in these situations. 

Thirty years ago when I was in school if a student said something wrong to a reporter, or was overly nervous in his speaking to a crowd, it was a one time hiccup.  However, today all they do an say will live on forever via the internet.  Recruiters are always seeking the best and the brightest, and these athletes need to be aware of their "Personal Brand" much earlier.  Plus the world of Twitter, Facebook, YouTube and other online sites can make anything they say or do at anytime part of their online search results.

The more prepared the athlete is for all that goes with media, speaking, branding, reputation management  and social media - the better off they will be if truly one of the fortunate ones who go all the way to a top college or even turning pro.

The closer I got to this meeting the more impressed I was with the young man and his family for their commitment to going above and beyond in preparing for life.  The first thing this student-athlete told me was that regardless if he ever gets to play college football, he knows that learning to communicate in all situations will set him up for a more successful career in any field.  WOW.

We spent nearly two hours together.  We discussed all that could cross his path in the short and long term, and I gave him some ideas on how to continuously improve his self-understanding of how he presents himself.  We also staged a mock interview on video and reviewed his answers together.  Thinking on your feet is often a learned skill.  This was a first step in a long journey.

I predict big things from this guy.... on the gridiron and beyond.

Have A Great Day

thom singer

BE SOCIAL - Talk To People

We are obsessed with "social"... but people are being less social in their in-person actions.  You can hardly attend an association or business conference that does not have a track of breakout sessions focused on "Social"... but then you go into the hallways and the attendees are ignoring those around them.

Everyone is buried on their phones trying to keep up on what is going on someplace far away.  They stand around and avoid eye contact with those around them.  We are hungry to connect, but we are not taking actions to engage with other people.

This SXSW Film Festival promo clip makes me laugh (see below or at this link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ml0Vn56lBwo).  

The couple meet in line while waiting for film.  The are not on their phones, they actually talk.  They hit it off.  Their lives flash forward to marriage, kids, etc...  But the guy is in the wrong line.  

Even if you are in the wrong place, strike up a conversation.  You never know what it could lead to.  All opportunities come from people.  

If you are at a conference and you are spending your breaks with co-workers or surfing the web on your phone... you have flushed opportunity down the toilet.  If you are waiting in line, turn to someone and say "hello".

I have heard that at the 2013 SXSW Film Festival they are going to sponsor "Line Meet Ups"... a semi-organized effort to get people waiting for a film to network and have fun with each other.  Going beyond a line of hundreds who are reading Facebook and Twitter posts, a "Line Meet Up" could be a spontaneous party on a side walk.  Think about the possibilities. 

Have A Great Day.

thom singer

WANTED: Better Social Media Conversations, Value and ROI

There seems to be five types of people:

1.  Those who use social media and it has had a HUGE impact on the success of their business.


2.  Those who use social media and pretend it is impacting the success of their business.


3.  Those who use social media and have no idea if it has any impact on the success of their business.


4.  Those who have tried social media and think it sucks.


5.  Those who still don't know much about social media and have not really participated in the whole movement.

Then there is me.

I am a heavy user of social media.  It has helped me grow my business.  It allows me to discover information about clients, prospects and others.  The conversations are often useful.  I learn. My participation on Twitter, Facebook, etc... has allowed me to make and grow business relationships.  But I am not seeing a HUGE impact on sales.  I clearly do not want to pretend it is more than it really is.

I track all leads that I have in my business, and some of them clearly come from the social media world.  But most of my business comes from person-to-person word-of-mouth.  Nearly all of those who refer me to clients for speaking or consulting are people with whom I have recently seen in person (while it is true some people know me online before we meet.... the real referrals tend to come from those I have met in a live environment.

Of my last 200 speaking presentations (and in-company training programs), less than 10 have come from social media leads.  The majority of business (and my business is nearly 100% referral based) come from people who I knew personally, had met recently in-person, or had been in one of my audiences.  While some of these folks may have first known of me via social media... the referrals only come after we meet or they have seen me speak at an event (which means we can argue that those original social media connections did directly prime the path to real business).

This does not mean I do not believe in social media.  I am a fan-boy of all the tools I use to communicate.  But I do not think I am alone in wanting deeper conversations in this medium.  I am tired cat videos, "To Chick-fil-A or Not To Chick-fil-A" re-tweets, or photos of Ryan Lochte.

Now here is where the critics can say I suck at social media, and therefore this is why I am left wanting for more.  Perhaps I use it poorly or am lacking a coordinated strategy?  Maybe I am not intellectual enough to chat with the really cool kids.  I once heard someone say social media now resembles high school... with a few cool kids sitting at the "right" table in the lunch room while the rest of us gaze over longingly.

Yep... maybe it is me.  Those with social media guru status have lots of ideas, but often their fame and large following makes them unable to see the forest for the trees.   I am seeking ways to raise the bar on my own interactions.  I can take it if you want to tell me how it is.

How about you?.... anyone else left feeling like you just ate a big meal and are still hungry?

Have A Great Day.

thom singer

One More Thing About Cathryn Sloane

Last week I posted about the twenty-something Cathryn Sloane who wrote the blog post for NextGen Journal about "Why Every Social Media Manager Should Be Under 25".  While I thought her opinion was silly, I also know I said silly (and arrogant) things when I was 25-years-old (gosh, I am sure I still say stuff).  The difference was there was no internet when I was that age.  With this one post she launched a generational firestorm online.

I have been wondering what she was going to say next.  Her next step could be a foundation for a successful career.  She certainly got attention, but now the question is what will she do with the platform.  A few friends said she is probably hoping for a reality show or some other quick fix leap to fame.  I hoped she would work to earn the next step in her career.

In seeking her response I ran across the website www.CathrynSloane.com.  It was not her.  In fact, it was not claimed when she wrote her July 20th post where she applauded her generation for just being smarter online than those who were born earlier.  Ummmm....  some old dude named Craig Barry purchased the URL last week and popped up a one page WordPress site pointing out that while claiming her superiority in understanding social media marketing, she had never secured her own name.com.  Ooops.

I now hope she is working on that Reality TV angle.

Have A Great Day.

thom singer

Don't Just Be Social - Be Relevant

I asked a question at a social media conference and was awarded the prize of a T-Shirt.  The shirt boasts the saying; "Don't Just Be Social - Be Relevant".  (There is no other branding on the shirt, so I cannot give a better attribution of this quote).

Every time I wear this shirt people stop me and make comments.  It resonates with those who are heavy users of social media, and those who are not.  There has been so much attention put on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, Google+ and other online communities over the past few years, but much of the usage is just noise.

I belong to several LinkedIn Groups and "like" dozens of Facebook pages, but few are relevant.  Many of the people I follow on Twitter are not providing me with any sense of wonder or inspiration.  I know that I am just more clutter in return to some of those who follow me, too.

We have had this bombardment of "social media" for several years, and there is constant talk about how to make it impact the bottom line.  The skeptics are getting louder, and people are still confused.  Social media and mobile communications are here to stay, but there is not magic answers on how to transform these platforms into business for the company's bottom line.

I work in the meetings industry.  There was a lot of trepidation over the last few years that all the online activity could undermine the face-to-face meeting business.  That coupled with limited budgets in a tough economy caused many to predict the demise of conferences.  But just because the tools we use to communicate have changed (and are still changing), it does not mean that who we are as people has changed.  Humans are experiential beings and we desire the live interactions with others.  Meetings matter and will continue.

The meetings industry, like most businesses, has heavily adopted the use of technology, and every planner desires ways to create a sticky online community that keeps their attendees engaged in with their conference long after the event is over. However, they need more than just a Facebook page to make it relevant.  This can only be achieved if the content and conversations are unique and personal.

For all of us there will continue to be more questions than answers for the short term.  I suggest we remember that when we deal with people (online or in person), that other person has their own "stuff" going on in the background.  That does not change in a virtual environment.  We cannot assume to know their back story without building a real relationship. To be relevant we must be personal.

Speaker Sekou Andrews says "Take me off your Rolodex and put me on your calendar".  He is right.  I got a LinkedIn request from a stranger the other day and before accepting the link I asked for a short phone call.  It was delightful.  It was not a blind click of "accept", but instead a connection to a real person, who is a career minded grandmother who has lived an interesting life beyond what it said on her profile.

Say it with me.... "Don't just be social - Be relevant".

What does relevant mean to you?

Have A Great Day.

thom singer

Your Virtual Network.... When Someone Dies

Through social media and blogging I met Tricia Murphy in 2007.  She lived in Dublin, Ireland and was a business consultant who specialized in helping people with the power of business relationships and personal branding.  She was known as "The Networking Queen of Ireland".

She had read my book and blog, and we shared many of the same beliefs about why it is important to choose people in our crazy busy world.  We became "online friends" via email and she often gave copies of my first book, "Some Assembly Required: How To Make, Grow and Keep Your Business Relationships" as door prizes when she spoke around Dublin.

In July 2007 my family visited Ireland and we met Tricia for a wonderful breakfast at a restaurant in Dublin.  We spent hours laughing as she told us the customs of my maternal grandparents homeland.  I blogged about meeting Tricia and the importance adding face-to-face conversations to your virtual connections.  That article also appears as Tip #19 in my book "Batteries Not Included: 66 Tips To Energize Your Career".  (Here is the photo of Tricia and I in Dublin).

We kept in touch for a couple of years, but I had not heard from Tricia in some time.  I think of her often, as she was a big personality and had a great soul.  The emails I sent bounced back, and her company website was no longer a live site.  A quick Google Search this morning revealed that she passed away from Cancer in 2010.  The last time we spoke she told me of her battle, but I had not know of her death.

Since we did not have mutual friends, and were mainly "Social Media Buddies", I had not known of her passing.  There was nobody who could reach out to me to tell me she died, and with so much information always coming at us, it is easy to not notice everything that comes past on a Twitter or Facebook stream (plus we had no mutual connections, anyway).

This experience has made me conscious of how this will become more common in years to come. I have other business connections who have passed away, and still their LinkedIn and Facebook Profiles are living on.  Each time I pass their name, I wonder how social media sites will handle this when more people begin to pass (too few in the social media population have yet begun to die, but the time will come, as we all eventually exit). I lived in the same city with these people, and was notified when they died.  But when we only know people virtually over half a world apart, how can we know when they are gone?

I am sad that Tricia died.  I do not know her friends and family, but they are in my thoughts and prayers.  Even more than 15 months since she passed away, I know she is missed.  The next time I visit Dublin the city will have a little less sparkle without her shining smile.

Have A Great Day.

thom singer