The Civilian on Cunliffe

It hasn't taken long for The Civilian's ears to prick up and tune in to the Labour Party's leadership contest which has become known on Twitter as #LaboursGotTalent.

And who would be an obvious candidate for The Civilian's biting sarcasm and rapier-sharp wit? Check this out:

Friends, colleagues, and fellow New Zealanders; I am concerned.
When my former leader, David Shearer, announced last week that he would be resigning from his position as the chief representative of our party, I knew that I had a decision to make.
The media was asking me what my intentions were. People were urging me to step forward and put my hand up.
They said to me “David, you’re perfect for this. You can do this. You can rebuild the party. You’re the only one who can.” And then I stepped away from the bathroom mirror, and I said “Yeah, you know what? I have to do this.”
That is why I stand before you today, to ask for your endorsement to be the leader of the New Zealand Labour Party.
I have to do this not because I’ve been asked to, but because, over the last five years, I have become deeply and genuinely concerned about me.
In 2008, under a Labour government, I was a minister earning upwards of $240,000 a year. Today, under John Key’s National Government, I earn $141,000 a year.
How did that happen? When did we start accepting less?
In the five years since National took the treasury benches, household incomes in my house have fallen more than 30%, and while David Shearer has been the leader of our party, things haven’t gotten any better. It hurts to say, but over the last little while, we’ve really lost my way.

Goodness; that is great stuff, but in a strange way, you can almost imagine David Cunliffe saying it. It'd have to be delivered in a faux Westie accent, of course, and with the obligatory reference to the "greasy little fulla in da blue suit".

Now this is satire, of course. And whilst we're not suggesting for one moment that David Cunliffe was convinced to stand for the Labour leadership by many men in many mirrors, he DOES do vainglorious better than just about anyone in the Parliament; and that's saying something!

We won't steal all The Civilian's thunder though, but we will leave you with his concluding paragraph, and a suggestion that you pop over and read the whole piece:

I’m campaigning to be leader because I don’t think it has to be this way. I don’t want you to be complacent anymore. I want you to have hope. I want you to believe that my life can be better. That’s why, on September 15th, I need your vote.

Well done The Civilian; we love your work!