And she's holding nothing back today either; under the headline Key guts Shearer, makes a meal of him she opines:
Ever since Don Brash, visiting a boatyard during an election campaign, was filmed "walking the plank", politicians have been extra careful about avoiding unfortunate symbolism.
Unaccountably, the Opposition leader's office forgot this wise precaution yesterday.
Either that, or no-one could manage to dissuade David Shearer, seeking to illustrate a point about snapper quota, from producing two of the fish in Parliament yesterday.
The Government did not know which piscine wisecrack to go with first. They were, of course, dead fish. Necessarily, they were fish out of water - though at the same time, they were as good for target practice as fish in a barrel. Depending on how long they had now been out of water, they could also end up as cat food.
Mr Shearer's senior benchmates reinforced this point by indicating playfully, but rather unhelpfully, that the fish were getting a bit whiffy.
Poignantly, though Mr Shearer's staff had failed to protect him from the inevitable fish-related farce, he had come equipped with a paper towel roll to wipe his hands - though journalists at a subsequent press conference reported he still smelt fishy.
Fishy is as fishy does, we suppose. Whoever advised David Shearer to take two dead fish into Parliament's Debating Chamber needs their head read; it was the height of stupidity. It immediately opened Mr Shearer to a relentless mocking from both Government MP's, and even Green MP's Jan Logie and Holly Walker who joined in via social media.
Ms Logie tweeted that "Politics inches closer to surrealism. What was he hoping to get out of that?", whilst Ms Walker who is of a younger generation to most of us said "An already weird #nzqt just entered the bizarro realm with David Shearer waving around actual dead fish to illustrate a question on snapper.".
What makes this even more incredible is that Mr Shearer had already had one slapping yesterday afternoon; Jane Clifton continues:
Prime Minister John Key sought leave for Mr Shearer to table the fish so he could get them cooked for his dinner. He had already made a meal of Mr Shearer. In an earlier own-goal, Mr Key had been gifted the opportunity to portray National-Labour discussions about a consensus on the new spying legislation as being akin to Monty Python's fish-slapping dance.
Mr Shearer had asked Mr Key to confirm whether he or his office had held any meetings with Labour in the run-up to the bill. "I can't believe he is asking that question," Mr Key boggled, indicating that he would answer it, but it would not be fun for Mr Shearer if he did.
Mr Shearer said to bring it on - so falling into another question time heffalump pit. For one thing, cross-party talks are supposed to be high-trust affairs, used sparingly and with the utmost discretion. For another, question time is the clumsiest of forums in which to break that trust.
Mr Shearer clearly had a version of events unflattering to the Government, which he wanted to get across - but all he was allowed to do was ask questions. Mr Key had an alternative version unflattering to Labour, and was able to give a full account.
Mr Key described a clandestine tryst, in which he and Mr Shearer took the back steps up to the prime minister's suite so as not to be observed. He said he had asked Mr Shearer, after a select committee hearing, if he wanted to come up to his office to discuss the legislation. "We actually waited for the other members, in particular Dr Norman, to leave so that he did not see the member coming up to my office."
Mr Shearer protested that it had been his idea. Mr Key countered: "If the member really wants to get down and dirty, members of the Labour Party said they did not understand the law."
Mr Shearer said Mr Key had said he "didn't care" whether Labour came on board or not because he already had Peter Dunne's vote. Mr Key didn't quite deny this, but said Mr Shearer had "rocks in his head" to pass up the chance to put security law beyond the Greens' intransigence.
Some people around the blogosphere today are wondering out loud whether David Shearer is in real life a National Party plant in the Labour Party. We don't buy that for a moment, but he is most certainly the gift that keeps on giving to John Key, whilst the Greens will now be viewing him with great suspicion.
Jane Clifton got it dead right; John Key gutted David Shearer yesterday in a political sense. Mr Key came out of Question Time smelling of roses, whilst Mr Shearer was left with that unpleasant fishy afterscent, and a potential coalition party that now thinks that the Labour leader stinks.
